dear diary,
i don't know what should i actually put in words here
because i don't truly understand my heart either
so how am i supposed to express whatever it is that i bottled in so deep?
i know and admit that i like him
he's always in my mind most of the timei even know that we are not suit to be together
as he's already have someone in his heart
and that we are somewhat world's apart
more than a month we were not in contact
no messages, phone call would be something that i would never dare to hope, what else to imagine
misses him during that period
but i dare not to contact him, just kept on wondering alone
whether he's fine, is he okay? is he stress?
and the concerns just kept on and on and on with no answer
up until one point that i finally have the courage to actually contact him
smsed him, hoping that he would reply
seconds, minutes and hours ticking
finally he replied, and what a relief i finally felt!
he's still the same, the way he reply the sms is still the same
the mood between us is still the same
and i felt really happy upon reading it
at least to know that he still acknowledge me
smiling and grining i was
when thinking of words that i should type back to him
as the fact that i truly miss him all this while
and the same thing happened like before
anxioulsy waiting for his reply
though doing another work, my mind kept on thinking of what will he reply?
and he was full of surprise!
my phone ringed, with his name in the frame
a smile just drawn happily on my face
excited i was, and nervous to answer the call
and so, on 04th November 2009 at 9.36.31 pm
we were on the phone for 43 minutes and 57 seconds
until our line was cut off
as his handphone was out of battery
he messaged later, saying that he will call again
as he doesn't feel satisfy enough to tease me during the call
-- silent guilt: and how i wish that he will --
